How to Become a Zucchini in Three Days!
By Artemis Harbert and Rachel Robbins
5th grade
Hello! Do you want to be a zucchini? Sure! We all do! But first, you must do three things. And you must follow rules exactly.
On your first day, you must wear a green shirt and black pants. That’s not all, you must balance a succhini on your head and stick zucchinis up your nose. Come back tomorrow at the same time. Untill then, Don’t turn the page!!
You look… like a zucchini. That is the first thing. The second step to being a zucchini is knowing what you will taste like after tomorrow. So eat, drink, and breath only zucchinis. It doesn’t matter how you eat your zucchinis, but no chocolate shrimp sauce is allowed. You may eat zucchini juice, fried zucchini, baked zucchini, zucchini surprise, zucchini bread, zucchini soup, and zucchini casserall. Remember, if you get thirsty, you may only drink zucchini juice. Come back in exactly four times six hours. DON’T TURN THE PAGE!
Very good! Now you know how it tastes to be a zucchini! Aren’t zucchinis delicouse? Now you must think like a zucchini. No thinking about girlfriends\boyfriends, partys, phone calls, vacations, or school work. Think only zucchinish thoughts. After thinking of zucchinis for 24 hours come back and read the next page. You must follow directions, and if you read the next page before it is time, you will never become a zucchini. Understood?
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now a real zucchini! Doesn’t it feel great? But if you didn’t follow directions, turn the page.
Oh well, I guess the stress was just too much for you. Being a zucchini is very stressfull! Don’t feel bad, we have two more books coming out: How To Be an Asparagus in Two Days, and How to be an Eggplant in Five Days. Remember, vegetables are our friends. Have a nice day, and happy reading.